When relationships collapse, the aftermath can often be pretty messy, and rebounding with casual sex is one of the most common aspects. When you “rebound”, you bounce straight back into bed with one or more people, often manically, uncontrollably – and with disastrous results. But that’s not always the case. Rebounding can actually be a great way to regain your mojo and move on confidently with your love life. Here’s how to do it successfully.
OK. Here’s the first and most important thing to remember about rebounding. You’re in a highly emotional state. Your angry, sad, a little confused perhaps, so you may not be entirely in control. It’s not rebounding the causes trouble, but rebounding without restraint. So before you leap into bed with the next person you meet, take a moment to think. If you are comfortable with what you are doing, dive straight in.
Sometimes, people rebound to get back at their partner. If their partner cheated on them, they may try to get with one of his or her friends. And they might take their dates to places where they know they will run into their ex. With social media, they can also post their exploits everywhere. But this isn’t the kind of rebounding that works. Try to shut off the impulse for revenge. Rebounding is all about rebuilding.
When you break up and hit the nightclubs or online dating sites, the sheer choice of sexual partners can be dizzying. After what could be years of sleeping with the same person (and sex gradually fizzling out to nothing), now you can sleep with different people every night.
And the funny thing about that: it’s an amazing way to forget about the sexual hang-ups you inherited from your old relationship. Within days (and a few one night stands) you’ll be back to your old, anything goes self, so don’t hide away.
Of course, you don’t have to fuck around with strangers after breaking up. Some people feel the need for the security of a relationship, so they convince themselves that the guy they met straight after breaking up was “the one” – even though he’s basically a stranger. That’s a bad rebound for sure. Casual sex for a while is much more honest. You aren’t pretending to love someone to make yourself feel better. You’re just feeling better by making love regularly.
When you cast your net widely and start flirting online, you’ll start discovering how diverse the dating scene is, and you’ll love it.
But not only that: you also have a great chance of finding someone you have real sexual chemistry with. That’s probably why your old relationship collapsed, but by sleeping around a bit you can find something that truly lasts.
Or, even better, just discover a new liberated you who doesn’t need the crutch of a long-term partner.
Another great thing about rebound sex is that you’ll always find a huge pool of potential partners who have recently found themselves back to square one. However old you are, wherever you live, there will be single people on the rebound looking for great casual sex and a sympathetic ear. You can help each other get over your pain and have some fun at the same time, all with no strings attached. What could be better?
Here’s another tip from an expert rebounder: when you’ve been with someone a long time, lots of guys or girls you meet will have found you attractive and started to fantasize about sleeping with you, or even stealing you away. When the break-up comes, you can bet that there are people in the shadows waiting for it, dreaming of it and ready to make their move.
If you like, you can rebound with them straight into a long-term relationship, or you can sleep around with others for a bit and keep them on ice. Give them a few clues, but have a period of casual sex. When you come back to them they will find you impossible to resist.
So thrown away your stereotypes about rebounding. The old cliché that rebounding is bad and self-destructive was always a myth. It’s actually a great way to restore your libido, find new partners, get over your emotional baggage and transition to a new phase of your life.