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Love Magazine

How to Get the Right Tone For Every Phone Sex Session

Have you ever started a sexy conversation that's progressed into full-on kinky action, only to find the moment ruined by a word in the wrong place, or an awkward silence where your partner expected some sexy chat?

Babe touching herself during a phone sex session
Phone sex can keep long distance relationships alive

Phone sex is something many people enjoy, but few get right. So let's set some things straight and help sexy callers hit the right spot for their next session.

First Things First: Getting the Kinky Convo Started

Here's the difficult thing about phone sex: actually starting a phone sex conversation can be really awkward. But somehow, one of the participants needs to break the ice and get things started. The only question is how?

Some sort of real world prompt is a handy jumping off (or jerking off) point. Ask your partner what outfit they are wearing, or kick start a roleplay by calling them nurse or teacher, if you're into that kind of thing. Something simple, which lets them get creative usually works well.

And don't use a stilted, artificial tone. When you aren't relaxed, sex just doesn't work, whether it's over the phone or in bed. Let your breathing deepen just as it would when you're preparing to sleep with someone. You'll soon synch up with your partner - it's just how humans work when they are getting ready to fuck.


RELATED: The Art of Dirty Talking Explained


Give Yourself Time to Do it Properly

This one's incredibly important. Too many phone sex conversations are torpedoed by one of the participants' schedules. Sure, you might be busy professionals with demands on your time, but this is important. Remember that. It could save your relationship when distance intervenes.

So be a little bit organized about having phone sex, and make a date. Set aside an hour, maybe more. You never know how horny and intense the talk is going to become. Sometimes, it takes half an hour of chat to get in the mood. Sometimes, you'll both climax in minutes. But if you're on the clock, it's a real mood killer.

Young guy in bed enjoying a phone sex conversation
Try to use a slower, softer tone of voice

Try to Create A Crescendo of Sexual Excitement

One of the biggest mistakes people make when having phone sex is letting their horniness get the better of them. Of course, you're going to reach the heights of horniness soon enough, but don't be too keen. Phone sex is just like the real world, and finishing early is a big no-no.

Pro tip: Try to move slowly. Use a slower, softer tone of voice - almost a whisper in some cases. And don't start fantasizing too soon. Keep on with the sweet nothings and insistent questions like "are you getting wet" until you're ready to move onto chat about anal sex or facesitting.

In real sex, foreplay is followed by penetration, then climax (generally). Phone sex isn't that different. So move onto virtual fucking after you're both primed and ready to go. If you don't you'll find that your partner isn't at the same level as you, ruining the illusion.

Create the Right Environment for Kinky Conversations

Another pitfall for fucking by phone is when the outside world intrudes, ruining the mood. It could be a flatmate returning downstairs, or an alarm going off, a window left opened, or just being annoyed by a computer screen or distracted by lights.

Every external stimuli in your environment will distract you from the words you are hearing, creating distance between the participants, when you actually want to feel close.

So, to minimize those distractions, work out a time that's not going to be interrupted by others, and turn down the lights. Put any electrical appliances away, and close the window. Then focus. You'll find it much easier to get involved, and feel intimate with the person on the other end of the line.

Sexy babe enjoying a bondage roleplay over the phone
Don't hesitate to set up roleplays and ask outrageous questions

Taking Risks is What It's All About, But Not Too Soon

Great phone sex is all about pushing things as far as possible using only words and sounds. So feel free to take risks. Set up roleplays and ask outrageous questions. Use curse words and talk dirty about your latex fetish. Express your desire in whatever grunts make sense. Go wild. It will help convey the passion you feel.

Pro tip: Don't go too hard, too fast with your imagination. Try to lead into shocking questions or out there comments slowly. That way, they will have much more effect, instantly creating a kinky, no-limits verbal space.

Get Physical When the Going Gets Kinky

Remember that the end goal of sex on the phone is exactly the same as sexual intercourse or oral sex: climax. That's why you are talking filth to each other across hundreds of miles of phone lines. So keep one hand free to make it happen, and make sure your partner is doing the same.

And also remember to have the right materials to hand to deal with any "mishaps." One of the most humiliating issues guys have when fucking on the phone is having to grope around for some tissues right before climax.

That's not a laughing matter, either. Climax is the crucial moment, and both of you need to be relaxed, and totally centered on each other, not where the box of tissues has got to. So manage your logistics before you start talking sexy. It's an underrated snafu that newbies always mess up, literally in most cases.

Don't Get Horny and Hang Up: Ending Your Session Properly

Amazingly, some guys instinctively end conversations straight after climaxing, just like some guys roll over and zone out after fucking, and some guys never talk to girls after one night of sex.

The phone sex pros don't behave like that, for good reasons. It's rude for one thing, but also misses a key moment of connection. Listen to how your lover breathes. Chat for a while, and hear the way they say goodbye. That kind of genuine connection is what love's about. Don't blow it. Stay cool.

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Image sources: (1) Nobilior | (2) theartofphoto | (3) sakkmesterke | Fotolia.com