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Love Magazine

Gag Order: The One Toy That Can Heighten Your Sexual Pleasure

You know how it is. You're in a social situation, there's a woman all up on you, she's got you sprung, you're messing about, she runs her tongue down your earlobe, goes to whisper something incredibly dirty in your ear, and...

Sexy red-haired woman wearing a ball gag
Are you turned on by ball gags?

...she tells you that she'd love for you to gag her.

Do you do that sort of thing? she asks. What's she's really asking is if you're into watching her in a vulnerable position, mouth open, begging for you.

And you freeze. You've done some intense ass-slapping, even some handcuffing. But mouth gags? The ones with the balls? Is she serious right now? There are so many things running through your mind. If you're being honest with yourself, you're a tad turned on - but also confused, a little grossed out and kind of intimidated.

Ignore those initial responses of "confusion", "grossed out" and intimidation and let's focus on the truth, here: yes, you're turned on. If you've never entertained the fantasy of a mouth gag, rest assured it's because you've had all sorts of associations with it - namely, of the BDSM variety.

But it might surprise you to know just how many "vanilla" couples are introducing mouth gags and balls gags into their sexual play. Yes, the keyword here is "play".

Yes, you can penetrate her all day long with exquisitely shaped contraptions designed to hit her G-spot, promise a vaginal orgasm and vibrate like an energizer bunny on speed.

But using a mouth gag is a far more effective and slower burn that turning many people on - and converting them into believers. Here's how you can introduce these interesting "toys" into your sexual play and heighten your pleasure.

Why Ball Gags are So Effective

Kinky couple using a mouth gag during sex
Many couples introduce gags into their sexual play

People thinking about people using balls gags have a very particular image in mind.This image usually involves whips, chains, maybe some heavy metal music, possibly a gay hookup situation.

These people have clearly been watching way too much porn. The truth is that you don't need to have a full-on latex fetish to incorporate mouth gags into your sexual play.

This piece of sexual "accoutrement" is based on a level of fantasy. It's your imagination that heightens your sexual experience, not the equipment itself. This is quite unlike using a whip, for example, where pleasure for a "sub" is said to be felt when the whip actually makes impact with the skin. In that case, it's the sensation, not the imagination.

But even people not into S&M play during sex can get turned on by ball gags because it's all about the promise of one partner's vulnerability, spurred on by the actual image of them.

Because, let's be honest: there's very little that is actually sexually stimulating about having a hard plastic ball in your mouth.

Ball gags are incredibly sexy precisely because they're a "beginner" piece of "kink" equipment but not necessarily only reserved for individuals into hardcore BDSM. The image of one partner, viewed by the other, with a gag in their mouth, open, vulnerable,possibly even drooling, asking to be freed puts an element of power into the equation without ever involving pain.

This level of fantasy is, in fact, so satisfactory and pleasurable that partners who are honest enough with each other right up front can get into it, even if they're both only looking for no-strings attached sex.

Gag Types

There are various types of ball gags that can - pardon the pun - get the ball rolling. You can definitely go shopping together for one or help your partner find one that's suitable for them.

While it's not limited to the preference of just one partner, the ball gag should really be comfortable for whomever is going to use it most. There is a very real element of trust that is involved in using a ball gag.

You don't need to be verbally abuse or even use dirty talk. You can be loving and lightly teasing when using it. And so it helps when the partner wearing the gag is comfortable.

To begin, look for a gag that fills the mouth and can be held comfortably for a sustained period of time without causing jaw pain or discomfort. This means that it shouldn't be so big that you're straining. Even if you can hold it for a while doesn't mean the ache won't get to you overtime.

Woman wearing a mask and a ball gag
The mouth gag shouldn't cause pain or discomfort

In this case, it's not "go big or go home". It's "go for comfort". Gags should allow a partner to make sounds. Usually, a silicone ball is your best bet when starting out because it is easily cleaned.

Straps are another thing you'll want to look into. Get a comfortable leather, not plastic, strap. These feel smooth and supple against the skin and wrap comfortably around the head. You want to avoid getting hair caught up so use a belt buckle or snap fastener strap.

Pro tip: avoid O-rings if you're a first-timer. Yes, they look sexy and they can be something to "graduate" to. You want to get used to the sensation of having your mouth open when it can rest comfortably or bite down on a ball rather than having it stretch by an O-ring.

There are also bit gags that partners can bite down on if a ball doesn't seem appealing. The perk of this is a distinct lack of drool and breathing comes easier.

Playing Dirty: Using Mouth Gags For Sexual Pleasure

Mouth gags can be a great way to start off the sexual play for the evening. The partner wearing it can get into a position of "submission", which is to say, on hands and knees.

Pro tip: Because of this intermingling of fantasy, role-play and power, it's a good idea to have a safety "gesture". The mouth gag may prevent an actual word from being spoken (especially if it's a ball gag) so partners should decide what gesture marks stepping out of the roleplay.

The other partner can begin to circle them, observing them as an "object", commenting on their desirability or asking them what they want. Of course, since the other partner cannot answer, it's very arousing to know that they're asking for a release. Or perhaps,they're teasing the other partner further.

Yes, there is an element of role-playing when it comes to using mouth gags. Partners don't need to put on the persona of "dominant" and "submissive" in a brutal or hardcore way. It can simply be light and teasing fun. Or it can go further.

The two of you can also draw out a fantasy-type situation. Perhaps there's an intruder that has been caught and is now getting their just desserts. Or perhaps there's a maid that needs a bit of a lesson. The two partners can even pretend to be strangers putting on a show.

If you're a little less intimidated and perhaps even curious about a ball gag, go for it. Keep an open mind and keep communication open - you'll be surprised how natural this can feel.

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Image sources: (1) iiievgeniy | (2) sandyche | (3) Andrew |