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Love Magazine

How to become the Kim K of the Vajajay: Snapping the perfect pussy pic

In case you live under a rock and you've never watched Sex and the City, there's a moment that's particularly poignant:

Provocative woman taking a sexy selfie
The rules of the selfie game apply to pussies too

Charlotte (the uppity, WASPish brunette) gets diagnosed with "vulvodynia": which is a fancy-pants way of saying "depressed vagina".

While you're allowing this to sink in (like, yeah, you can have a depressed vagina), her friends lightly tease her, then proceed to ask her if she's ever taken a look down there. To which Charlotte, totally horrified, says, "I wouldn't do that! I think it's ugly". And that prompts her friends to say it's no wonder her pussy is "depressed".


RELATED: Pussy Selfie


Humorous and kind of groan-worthy, Charlotte's sentiment and her friends' judgement is not too far off the mark. Women looking for men in particular should take note: if you can't even spend time surveying what's going on down there - and, worse still, if you think it's "ugly" - what hope does your female friend have of ever flourishing and celebrating life?

Answer: none.

If you've never really taken the time to take a mirror and get to know those sweet little lips, grab a mirror and a small little light.

If you have spent some time down there - but you'd rather other people, like a fuck partner, spend time there instead of you - newsflash: the best way to get some game is to start appreciating what you've got. So grab a camera.

And if you're already in awe of your vagina, have a healthy relationship with it and spend time getting to know it on a regular basis - ahem! - then here are some tips to taking your relationship to the next level.

Celebrate and commemorate your pussy with these 6 tips to a sexy pussy selfie and you'll be #selfiegamestrong and #pussyonpoint

1. Keep it light

Think about it this way: if you were taking professional headshots or photos you actually plan on looking at (and reasonably enjoying again), the first thing you'd consider is lighting.

The same rules apply for pussies: you want to think about whether this is for you or for someone else? In other words, do you intend to send it or just take a couple of snaps to preserve it in all its perfect glory?

First off, avoid daylight or white light. This overexposes the shot and leaves harsh shadows, making everything appear blue, dull and gray. Instead, you can use sunlight lighting or take a snap and use a filter on it.

2. Make her wet

Now, if you're sending your glorious pussy out to a lover like a sexy, midday flirt or a late-night treat, a great way to doll her up...is to make her wet.

Woman making her pussy wet for a pussy selfie
Pussies look best when they're aroused

Pussies look best when they're aroused, wet and gleaming. That's not to say that neutral pussies aren't a thing of beauty, either.

But if you're intending on sending your pussy pic out to someone and you want to really demonstrate the power of the puss, lube her up a bit, oil her down or simply use a couple of fingers and...well, let Mother Nature take its course.

3. Top-shots are the best

Women who have never taken a vag selfie before make this cardinal mistake: when posing, they'll sit on their ass, spread their legs and angle their phones towards them, right in the middle.

And nothing makes for a more awkward picture than sitting on your butt. This compresses your spine and, in turn, your, well, nether regions. Instead, women look better when they're arched and elongated.

For the best vagina selfies, you'll want to take pictures form the top. If you're lying spread eagled, arch your back. And if you're standing, choose to prop your leg up on a chair.

4. Artsy not porny

Women think that sharp pink pussies like the shots they see in pornographic movies are what makes for a good selfie.

Wrong: While those shots are good for screen and film, blurry pics are not actually a bad thing when it comes to vagina selfies. If you're involving your fingers or a toy, for example, and take a couple of shots during the action, this might even come out looking artistic and have less of an "in-your-face" feel.

5. Tripods and timers will save you

Now, what separates the pussy selfie pro from the amateur? Tripods, my dear Watson.

Can you imagine trying to balance yourself, keep your hand steady and still take a great shot? That's how you go through 200 pics without even a single one being useable.

You may think this is overkill but when you're in the pursuit of a perfect vagina selfie, nothing is too overblown. Choose to use a tripod - either for your DSLR, if that's what you're using, or your phone.

Both smartphone and regular, traditional DSLRs have a self-timers on the shot. You can also choose to set a timer on your camera to take a new shot every 2 to 5 seconds. This way, you'll have a whole range of pics you can choose from without having to readjust the camera.

If you use a tripod, you won't have to worry about shaking or poor picture quality. That 200 perfect shots to choose from - what a great problem to have!

Sexy Asian girl taking a selfie in bed
Avoid including a shot of your upper body

6. "TNA" okay but no face

This is a provisional tip but it's important nonetheless. Some women like to include a shot of their upper body along with their pussies - for variety, you know. Hey, if you've got the goods, flaunt it, right?

But make sure to keep all identifying features out. This means, if you have unique tattoos that other, previous partners have seen or even birthmarks, avoid those areas as part of the picture.

And it's not just in the photo itself - it's also the digital information that gets encoded at the time of taking the selfie.

Your personal information - location, date, time, etc. - gets stored as data for each photo you take. When you send or transfer a file to someone else - in this case, a selfie over your phone - anyone can access this information. Make sure to go in and scrub the details free.

Of course, if it's just for you and you seem to have mastered the art of the selfie, hold on to it for the end days by backing it up on your personal harddrive (but avoid popping it in your cloud, since these are easily hacked).

Now, go and try these newfound tips. Happy snapping!

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Image sources: (1) deagreez | (2) Kate | (3) Drobot Dean | Fotolia.com