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Dating Tips to Avoid Turning Off Guys

Have you ever gone on a date, had a great time but waited for the guy to send you a follow-up message that never arrived? Sometimes you can turn off guys without even realising it, and in a world where online dating is easier than ever, it’s simple for guys to look elsewhere when they haven’t had the perfect evening. Next time you head out on a date, these handy tips should help you to avoid a dating calamity. Guys are just as easy to turn-off as women, but when you bear these ideas in mind, you should be able to keep him hanging on your every word and, more importantly, he’ll be desperate for a second date.

couple beeing bored on their date

#1 Perfect Your Listening Skills

Listening is one of those abilities that everyone possesses, but not everyone uses. In fact, once you fall in love with the sound of your own voice, it’s hard to reset your mind to focus on what other people are saying. But if you want a successful date, that’s exactly what you need to do. Let your date talk about themselves, and don’t launch into your life story straight away. Sure, if they ask you, go ahead, but try to give him space to talk and ask questions based around what he has to say. Everyone appreciates being listened to, and they hate people who ignore what they have to say, so sit back for a while and let him speak.

#2 Don’t Hide Your Hidden Depths

Guys are not just attracted to beauty. Actually, beautiful people without any substance behind their looks can be really hard work on dates. You probably have plenty of passions, hobbies, and interests, so don’t hide them away. If the conversation swings around to what you love to do, don’t hold back. Your date has the same kind of passions, and will love to find out about yours.

#3 Vanity is Fatal

girl checking her make upAll women love to look good, and dressing well, fixing your hair and perfecting your make-up are all important aspects of making a good impression on a first date. However, what isn’t so attractive is vanity. One of the best ways to turn off a guy is to appear narcissistic and vain. Image obsessed people tend to have very little to say for themselves, unless it relates to their immediate desires, and they also tend to come across as unappealingly insecure, which is also a big no-no.

#4 Don’t Boss Your Date Around

Sometimes, one partner needs to take control, whether it’s in reserving a restaurant table, booking theatre tickets or in the bedroom. But when you do so, the trick is to hide this from your date, instead of coming across as bossy. In any case, guys hate it when women assume the role of teacher (or worse, mother) and boss them around. If your date has poor table manners, or they say the wrong thing every now and then, it might not be such a big deal. If it is, don’t slap him down or make fun of him. If you enjoy his company, you can deal with things like that later, so make a mental note, put it away and try to relax.

#5 Rudeness Ruins the Romance

This should be obvious, but it’s distressingly common to go on dates with people who lack basic social etiquette. When you are dealing with bar staff, ticket offices or waiting staff, don’t grandstand with a boisterous attitude. Trying to show off your money or acting arrogantly in public won’t play well with dates. Being rude to others isn’t just embarrassing for your date, it’s also a window into your personality. Remember that on first dates, neither person really knows anything about the other. They are looking for hints about who they are, and how they will act as a long-term partner. Good behaviour and politeness are a must.

#6 Keep Your Focus on your Date

It’s surprising how easy it is to become distracted while on a date, but it’s definitely a temptation to be avoided. Guys want to be the centre of attention when they are talking to women. It’s partly about feeding their vanity, but they also want to know that their date is actually into them. Don’t keep your smartphone turned on, and put it away in a place where Facebook and Instagram won’t absorb your attention. Instead, make eye contact and conversation, and soon you and your date will be in your own little world, far away from any damaging distractions.

couple dealing with their phones

#7 Commitment Comes Later

One of the biggest turn-offs for guys is when women appear desperate to tie them down. There’s nothing wrong with committing yourself to another person, but it’s a terrible idea to lay down an ultimatum to a guy on the first date about whether they are serious or not (but still, it does happen). Try to relax. It’s just a date. Things may move forward, or you might never see each other again. If you are desperately keen for a second date, ask him when you will meet up again, but don’t seem too eager. If he’s keen, he will be happy to agree to another date. If not, there are plenty more fish in the sea.

#8 Punctuality is Seductive

Well, maybe not as seductive as a sexy voice, great looks and a kinky mind, but you get the picture. Turning up late is a massive turn-off, but it happens depressingly often. Nobody wants to be stuck with a cocktail for half an hour, wondering whether their date will even turn up. If you made an arrangement, stick to it or be honest about not being able to be there. Text to say if you’re late, and if you must cancel, cancel well in advance.

#9 Hard to Get May Never be Got

Sometimes, it’s tempting to play hard to get. For some guys, having to win the attention of their date is attractive, but in general, when girls play coy, guys become tired of their games and the temptation to bail out rises. Don’t make your date do all the running. This isn’t a television show where contestants present their business plans to a hard-nosed businessman. It’s a date, so cut guys some slack. You’re both there to impress each other, and guys hate feeling that they need to sell themselves. That’s for working hours. Just relax, and have some fun.

#10 Engage Your Sexual Instinct

Not all people are up for sex on a first date, so never feel under pressure to go to bed with a guy if events are leading in that direction. If you feel at all uncomfortable about it, but still want to see him again, he will understand if you decline. In fact, if you make it plain that you are interested but want to wait, this can be very attractive to men, more so than being too sexually available.

All dates are different, so stay alert and try to read what your date is thinking. No date will ever pass off perfectly without the slightest hitch, and few people actually fall in love at first sight. However, unfortunately they can be turned off in the first few moments after meeting someone.

With these tips to guide you, it will be much easier to avoid turning off your next date. So dive into the profile listings, find a guy you like and arrange to meet.

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Image sourcesImage 1 - djoronimoImage 2 - Eugenio MarongiuImage 3 - Kalim