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Prevent a Dating Disaster by Avoiding these Classic Turn-Offs

man smiling confident at his dateWilliam Shakespeare once wrote that “the course of true love never did run smooth”, which is true, but it runs a whole lot smoother is you avoid the kind of classic dating turn-offs that make interested women run a mile. A lot of guys tend to rely on their natural charm and their romantic instinct to get them through dates. Sometimes, they feel that they have mastered the dating game, and have crafted a persona that is irresistible to women. Don’t be like those men. The truth is, many women are too polite to mention when they are turned off by simple matters like personal grooming or rudeness, and they are even less likely to complain about sexual turn-offs when you get to the bedroom. Instead, they just disappear without a word. Even if they were initially curious, if you turn women off enough, they will give up and find someone else. So compare yourself against this checklist and ensure that you are as appealing as possible when you head out for your next romantic encounter.

#1 Be Confident, but not Arrogant

Let’s start with a tough one. Girls love men who are confident, and project a stable aura of reliability. Conversely, they don’t tend to fall for men who are obviously insecure and afraid to make eye contact. Even if you are in the large minority of guys who struggle to break the eye contact barrier on a first date, force yourself to do so. Your date will appreciate the gesture, and a deeper bond will have been formed in an instant. At the same time, women hate arrogance, particularly if they perceive that the guy they are with is performing for their benefit. Sure, you might be a massive financial success or a sporting superstar, but that’s just on the surface. On a first date, no-one wants to hear about how you sealed a multi-national deal. Instead, women want to feel that the guy they are with has understanding and class. There’s nothing wrong with success, but it has to be coupled with sensitivity and restraint. The same goes for flashing status symbols like watches or jewellery. It’s nice to have, but when it’s too blatant, it can be a huge turn-off.

#2 Know When to Move From Small Talk to Deeper Matters

couple having fun on their dateEvery date starts modestly, with a little small talk and awkward moments. That’s natural. But you can’t keep on chatting on boring subjects or, worse, talking only about yourself. Women want to know about you, but they also want to be engaged by what you have to say. They also love it when guys take an interest in who they are. A good rule of thumb is to ask her about what she likes, her family, holidays, education, plans for the future – that kind of thing. Sooner or later, you will find plenty of common interests, holiday destinations and favourite movies. That’s how relationships begin, not from an hour of mumbling about the weather. So make the effort to get the conversation going. Not only will it engage her interest, it’s also much more enjoyable. Humour is also a big turn-on, but it’s also a danger area. Think twice before launching into an office anecdote or a blue joke. Everyone has a different sense of humour, so you’ll need to probe your date’s personality to find out what makes her laugh. If your date tries to move the conversation onto books, films, art – whatever they love – try to run with it and express your own ideas and interests. Take a risk or two with opinions, but don’t try to suggest that yours are better than hers. Nothing is less attractive (or boring) than a snob, so don’t be that guy.

#3 Don’t Reschedule or Appear Vague When Planning Your Date

Now it’s time for some admin advice. One of the biggest turn-offs in online dating is when potential dates mess around with scheduling dates, cancel at the last minute, turn up late or make pathetic excuses for bailing out. Never be one of those time-wasting people who can be found all over the online world. Instead, try to be strict about making clear date plans. When a date is arranged, don’t cancel a day in advance unless you have a really good reason. Plan your route to the date in advance and make it on time. Be clear about where you want to meet as well. No-one wants to have to look for a stranger on a crowded train platform for twenty minutes. There are few worse ways to start a date than that. When organising a date, always avoid the word “maybe.” Women don’t want to feel that you are vague (or arranging dates with ten other women at the same time). They want to feel valued from the start, so be clear and confident. Just say “yes.”

woman waiting for her date

#4 Remember Your On-Date Etiquette

It may seem patronising, but many guys seem to have forgotten their table manners when heading out on dates. Whether they talk with their mouths full, get food all over their clothes or eat too quickly, guys often forget that their date is assessing their physical manner just as much as their good looks or charisma. Dress well, eat slowly and don’t be afraid to chew a little before answering one of her questions. There’s no hurry and you’re both there to enjoy yourselves, so savour the food. That way, when you compliment or criticise it, she will take your opinions much more seriously as well. Picking up the tab isn’t mandatory, but it can also be a big plus for women. That’s not just because it shows that you can afford it, but because it shows good old-fashioned chivalry and charm. But don’t make a meal of it. Flaunting wealth is incredibly unattractive. Don’t be afraid to buy a couple of drinks as well. If you turn up early and have to nurse a beer before she arrives, be sure to ask her what she wants almost as soon as she arrives. It’s a great way to start the date on the right note.

#5 Put Your Smartphone Away

Modern dating brings modern problems, and one of the worst is the epidemic of smartphone users in bars and restaurants. No women is attracted to guys who are constantly checking their Facebook page or emails. Even if work is likely to contact you, try to keep your phone in your pocket (at least until she goes to the toilet). Don’t give the impression that emails are more important that your date. That’s the route to instant rejection. Don’t leave your phone on the table either. Plenty of dates have degenerated into two people who hardly know each other sitting in the same room playing with their phones. Eliminate the temptation to check your social media profiles by stashing your phone in your bag or pocket.

Dating doesn’t have to be a minefield, but there are certainly some major turn offs that all guys should avoid. With these tips in mind, you should be able to make the best possible impression on your next date, instead of crashing and burning like so many Romeos have before.

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