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The Only Man In Your Life: Why The Alpha Male is The New Black

In modern, Western society, women and men are growing closer and closer to equality than ever before. We've got progressive movements about women's reproductive rights going on, debate about equal pay and the distribution of child-rearing responsibilities between the sexes.

Gone is the Don Draper, Mr. Big and James Bond-esque characters from our lives. Now, it seems, we all want someone who's going to commit, settle down and take out the trash because the alternative seems to be a combination of fratboy and man-child stereotypes.

Or is it? Is it really true that we don't want these kinds of alpha males in our lives, as our partners anymore? As it turns out, the complexity of sexual and intimate relationships in the modern age means that we as women want to have our cake and eat it too. And here, the case is being made that alpha males are one such type of man that will - contrary to your belief - allow you to maintain your independence of thought and identity while still being chivalrous, protective and committed.

The truth of the matter is that being dominant and assertive in your life, as alpha males are wont to be, doesn't mean that they need to be making your decisions for you or taking your power away from you.

In fact, for a true alpha male, the exact opposite is true: he is so singularly confident of himself in any room, he'll never want you to water down your beliefs and will celebrate your achievements rather than blanket them with his insecurities. Because he knows: he's the man. And he doesn't need you to make him feel that. He knows it already.

What He's All About

There's no denying an alpha male and there's certainly no mistaking him. He's the one in the room that has it under his control with one sweeping gaze. He's powerful and ambitious in his own right and doesn't shy away from open interaction with either men or women. Because he's able to hold his own so well, he instantly exudes a sex appeal and energy that makes him attractive and has everyone gravitating towards his charm. He has a certain je-ne-sais-quoi but don't be fooled: the alpha male is incredibly self-aware and knows exactly what he's doing and how he's affecting everyone.

Alpha males are assertive and deliberate but they will never compromise you or override your opinion.

That's because he doesn't have to. One of the best things about a strong and assertive alpha male is that they are powerful without needing to prove their power. This means that there's no sense in him deriding you just to make himself feel better or bigger. Instead, alpha males will calmly and patiently focus on what you're saying and who you are, before offering a counterpoint. He wins out with logic, not emotional blackmail and sheer chauvinistic dominance. And, sometimes, he wins out by pure silence.

Alpha males are ambitious

Every alpha male is supremely attractive not least because of his confidence and rugged good looks. He's also incredibly ambitious. He knows what he wants and he knows how to get it. His patience plays a big part in this because, unlike other men of "lesser" types, alpha males understand the game: whether it's in romance, life or career. They know nothing happens overnight and they're in it for the long game. They understand that there's no such thing as instant gratification and they trust themselves and their abilities enough to know eventually, they're going to win out where others may have given up a long time ago.

Alpha males are deliberate

Whether in the bedroom or the boardroom, alpha males are deliberate with their every move and action. They're light-hearted and take themselves and others around them with agrain of salt, in a positive and optimistic manner. Hey, they've got nothing to worry about: they're going to win anyway.

Yet, you'll always be able to spot an alpha male from a mile away based on the deliberate and sometimes unnerving way they get right to the heart of the matter. There's no beating around the bush with this kind of man. When they're focused and their time is invested in something, they get right down to it. If you're the object of his desire, you'll know it from the way he pierces your gaze and holds it with his intent. If his objective is to "close" a deal, rest assured, it will happen.

How to Snag An Alpha Male

Forget everything you've ever learned about how to snag a strong man. There are no "tricks" and no "rules". You don't have to be excessively "prudish" and you don't have to travel in the other direction either. Alpha males are strong and so they appreciate partners who have the same values and virtues, drives and ambition as them.

Think about what it is that attracts you in an alpha male: he's strong and confident, has nothing to prove, plans to conquer the world and wants a woman as fierce as him by his side to help him or be conquering her own.

What alpha males crave more than anything is the same thing in a woman as the reason you, as a woman, are attracted to alpha males: independence, power and ambition. They crave a woman who is as bold and adventurous as them, who is unafraid to try new things and always takes care of herself. This shows that she values herself and she values the figure they socially project outwards as a couple as well as individually.

As a woman, you should be prepared to have your actions match your worth. If you know you're beautiful, like an alpha male, you have nothing to prove to anyone and understand that upping the ante on your sex appeal is the way you celebrate and enhance yourself. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. On the contrary, an alpha male can and will never respect a woman who does not have her ducks in a row - physically, financially and emotionally.

Women are endlessly fascinating creatures but their lovers are also an expression of how they see themselves. If you attract and are attracted to a quintessential alpha male, this is a clear sign that you hold yourself in high esteem, are ambitious yourself and take the time to be powerful in the ways you show up in your life.

The truth is that you can "play" to any man's allure for beautiful and strong women with small tricks like leaving something of yours behind so he remembers you, spraying a mist of perfume, your signature scent right below your ears, act impressed and very subtly stroke his ego by admiring that which he's already proud of. You can be the most gorgeous woman in the room, taking care to glam yourself up very well. But an alpha male will eventually grow bored and see through all that.

You may use these tricks to attract an alpha male. But remember: he's looking for the whole package. And you're looking for an alpha male because, with these characteristics, an alpha male is clearly the whole package as well.


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Image sources Image 1 Fotolia.com - Djile Image 2 Fotolia.com - Aarrttuurr