Most guys like to think that they have an understanding of the way women react to them. When they flirt at bars or dine at restaurants, guys like to believe that they can interpret women’s body language. But what if they can’t? In reality, men tend to be appallingly bad at deciphering body language. What they think is the right interpretation often turns out to be their own ideas superimposed on what women are actually saying. Guys just aren’t as perceptive as they like to think, and this has some pretty damaging consequences. However, if you master women’s body language, the benefits could be massive. Whether they do so consciously or subconsciously, women use their bodies all the time to make their desires known. Knowing what they are saying can be the difference between hooking up with a shy but gorgeous girl or wasting your time talking to women who have no interest in you at all. To help you along the way, here are a few of the key things to think about when reading women’s body language.
When women are into guys, they often try to get their attention, but not directly. They react completely differently to a casual glance from a man they are attracted to, compared to someone they don’t care for. As you scan the bar, look out for girls who meet your eyes, smile, turn away quickly or look a little awkward. It’s these instinctive movements that tell you she has recognised something in you, and she wants to learn more.
When you are flirting or enjoying a meal, conversation isn’t everything. Sure, you need to have a few stories or jokes up your sleeve to impress your date, and it helps to have plenty to say, but it’s often what you say with your eyes that really matters. Women and guys use eye contact to signal that they are serious. When their eyes meet, people create an instant connection, and you can ready in the way those eyes look whether she wants to move to the next stage, or she can’t stand the sight of you. In general, eye contact is a huge positive, so don’t bury your gaze on the tablecloth. Be alert for when she raised her eyes to yours. She’s looking for recognition, so don’t be shy.
Your face is an incredibly powerful communication tool, and women use every part of it to signal their intentions and feelings. For example, they may raise their eyebrows quizzically or flirtatiously in conversation to show that they are following your jokes and tales. Sometimes, women lick their lips momentarily, or they flare their nostrils – both classic signs that they are interested in the person they are talking to. Our bodies have instinctive mechanisms to show others how we feel, and they often do so via subtle visual cues, so learn the language of the face and you will have a huge advantage in the flirting stakes.
The way we hold our bodies is often a great indication of what we want. We can hold ourselves tall and aloof, keeping our faces away from those we talk to – a sure sign that someone wants to exit a conversation. But when we are flirting, the opposite holds true. When they are interested in a guy, women tend to lean forwards and get closer to your face and body. They like to lean in, to test the reactions of their potential date, seeing how he responds to somebody intruding upon his personal space. This is a signal that they want to do a lot more than just nuzzle up to you – a kind of very early foreplay that no guy should ignore. Women that are interested will often be tactile as well, using hugs, touches, caresses to show their intent. What they won’t do is sit back, cross their arms or look around the room. That’s a sure indication that you’ve lost their attention, probably permanently.
When we are attracted to someone, even the most seemingly self-assured of us become nervous or anxious. That’s just human nature. Our bodies are geared to arouse our senses when sex is on the agenda, which helps us to get over the fear of flirting, but also leaves us with an awkward nervous sensation. When women flirt seriously with a guy, they have the same nervousness. They will fidget with their hair or jewellery. They may fondle their smartphone (without actually turning it on), and they might run their fingers around their glass. Quick, nervous gestures are often mistaken for negative feelings, but it’s not that simple. They often signify that a woman is interested (hence the anxiety) but may be slightly uncomfortable. Maybe you are coming on a little bit too strong, or maybe she just needs a couple of minutes to relax. It’s often nothing to worry about.
Always look out for gestures directed at her hair, chin, shoulders or collar bone as well. In these cases, women are often subconsciously drawing your attention to their face – seeking to create a connection as the precursor to something more serious. That’s because those areas are also associated with the erogenous zones of the female body. She might be telling you that she secretly longs to be kissed on the neck, her lips or between her breasts. Those kind of gestures are always a very, very good sign to look out for.
Sometimes, you can be the funniest guy on earth and your date responds with muffled chuckles to even your best material. Other times, you can’t even talk about bus schedules without your date collapsing in giggles. There’s a logic to this, and it’s worth deciphering. When women laugh, they are often not just reacting to humour. They are also signalling their sexual interest. Watch out for this when you go on a date or watch other people flirting. Girls who are really into the person they are flirting with will always giggle at the slightest stimulus – far more so than usual. This is partly a strategy for creating complicity between her and her date. She wants him to feel that they are the only two people in the bar, so that she can reel him in and take the relationship further.
Finally, be aware of how she responds to your words and gestures. When we are attracted to people, we naturally create a kind of harmony with their bodies. When they look at something, our gaze tends to follow. When they raise their arms in consternation or smile at something, we often follow suit. If she starts to “mirror” your gestures, you can be sure that this kind of synchronicity has been achieved. It’s a magic moment, and a key stage in the flirting process. Now, you have a kind of deeper physical understanding that only leads in one direction – towards bed.
Our bodies have a way of speaking that is just as powerful as our words. When you head out for your next date, bear these thoughts in mind, and you will be able to fluently read any girl’s intentions. That way, you’ll never miss out on a romantic hook-up, and you’ll know when a date is going nowhere.
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