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A Guide to Having Anal Sex So Pleasurable, She'll Be Begging For It

There are just so many myths concerning women and anal sex. And if you ask any woman who has actually had anal sex and enjoys it (which is a large number, by the way), she'll be just as confused as you are. It probably all started with that one woman who had a bad experience with a lover who had no idea what he was doing and it all just went downhill from there.

couple starting an anal sex session

Let's speak now or forever hold the truth: women who don't enjoy anal (and don't have any other personal reasons) are doing it wrong or have partners who just don't understand the concept (or act) of anal sex.

Here's the big, crazy, honking truth: anal sex is pleasurable and way more women engage in it with their partners than not. There's an element of trust that comes along with being anally penetrated so it's understandable that anal is not going to happen on a first date or a one-night stand. And, let's be honest here, the buildup to anal really creates the prize. It's not going to happen overnight -- and even if you dedicate a couple of hours to a good anal session, chances are, the next time you do anal, she'll be more open to it, both literally and figuratively. Anal sex is a marathon because the rectum loosens a little more at time, physically speaking, and a woman's mind gets more accustomed to a man's depth and girth overtime. But in the right setting, with the right partner (read: a partner who knows what it takes to bring them both pleasure), women absolutely love anal sex. It's all about teamwork and we've put together a guide for the team so you can storm that asshole with maximum success.

Eyes - and Ass - Wide Open

Before you get started, you would do well to have a talk with your partner. The last thing you want to do is alarm them (or be alarmed) while you're caught in an otherwise pleasurable -- if compromised -- position. Partners who are attempting to have anal sex should not be engaging in the act as an afterthought or a "nice to have". Rest assured, if you walk into a frisky situation without knowing what's about to happen, you're not going to want to broach the topic again -- ever. The other thing to keep in mind is that if your partner has an emotionally traumatic past, it's up to you to make them feel safe.

Have The Talk

There is nothing sexier than having a sexy talk. Especially when it comes to anal sex. If this is something you've been wanting to try, bring it up with your partner the next time you're cuddling or just being intimate. Let them know this is something on your mind that you would like to try out.

Chances are, having a healthy discussion is not going only draw you closer together, it's also going to show both partners that nothing is taboo or off-limits. After all, anal sex is not really considered "conventional" sex (even though so many of us engage in it and enjoy it) so speaking your desires to one another about anal sex could give you more than just backdoor access.

women waiting for anal sex

Start Off Wet

You might be wondering: once you both know that anal sex is something you're willing to try, what's the first step to an evening of anal sex?

You want to set aside a night dedicated solely to it. You can definitely play with each other and get each other excited but try and keep away from vaginal sex for the night. This is not only so you can get used to the sensation of anal penetration, it's hygienic too: double dipping is an obvious no-no.

Once he penetrates you anally, don't flip back to vaginal sex.

A great way to fire up the evening for anal sex is start off with a shower. Besides being incredibly steamy and stimulating with all that hot water and lather, you can wash each other and clean areas that some people are really shy about.

Now Actually Make Her Wet

Once you've soaked and dried off, start to get her excited and wet. You can caress her nipples, bite her neck and work your way up her inner thighs, making your way to her clitoris.

Want to know the best part?

This stimulation, besides just getting her comfortable and in the mood opens her up. It also provides for some extra, natural lubrication which you can use to slide over to her anal opening. Plus, moving from licking her clit to licking her asshole is a good way to transition between sensations and start the process of penetration.

If you can get her wet and you work her anus with your tongue, she's going to have incredibly positive associations. Do this while she is on her knees, doggy style, so she can use her hands to play with her clit while you're licking her back there.

Playthings Never Hurt

Ah, your tongue probably felt so good in there and she didn't even know what was missing. And this is a great way to start. It may even be your first time giving your woman a rimjob so take it slow and explore.

Now: Once you're in there and you've got some natural wetness going on, try and begin to insert just one finger. In this case, you need to listen to her reactions carefully. Communicate with each other about what feels god, where it needs to go slower and where, perhaps, it's okay to proceed.

You need to be connected with each other now more than ever. Once you've got a finger or two in there and her opening is nicely stretched, you can experiment with toys. Shop for these together and buy a few shaps and sizes at a time so you can see what "fits" and works best.

Lube Up Before You Love Up

man engaging in anal sex with a girlThis is crazy. You need lots of lube. Unlike the vagina, a woman's anal opening is not naturally lubricating (with some exceptions) and even if she's stimulated and finds the experience pleasurable, a god lubricant is required for your man's penis.

And if you're worried about "losing sensation", don't be. Make sure you go for actual brands of lubricant and not vaseline as that will definitely kill the sensation and make for a very greasy, "slip'n'slide" situation.

Take Your Positions

There are some positions that work better than others and, when you have an anal sex session more than once, you'll both be able to figure out what that is and what you're willing to try. Generally speaking, a good first penetration should keep in mind two things: positions where it is less likely to experience tearing and positions where the woman has more control over insertion.

It's vulnerable for her but it's vulnerable for him too. As much as your man will get excited at the prospect of anal sex, when he's inserting himself, you can bet he also doesn't want to hurt you. So if you can take some of the pressure off and control how far and how fast, he can relax. Missionary is fine as well with doggy being the most intense. As always, keep talking to each other and start off slow.

Don't Hold It In

Once you're done for the night, whether you've managed to penetrate or you've kept it at a minimum, congratulate yourself and then go for a pee. Both of you should be going to the bathroom after anal sex, just like vaginal sex. If you feel so inclined, you can take another shower.

If you're feeling a bit gassy afterwards, don't worry about it. It's all part for the course. And the pleasures of anal sex are so vast that, in time, it's a course you'll want served up again and again.


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Image sourcesImage 1 Fotolia.com - sakkmesterkeImage 2 Fotolia.com - Dimitriy RaykinImage 3 Fotolia.com - oneinchpunch